I work with married couples as well as those in committed dating relationships. If you are researching options for marriage or relationship counseling, it is likely you have already been working pretty hard on improving your relationship. Often, by the time couples come in for counseling, they have worked their butts off trying to make things better! This can feel so frustrating because it seems like relationships shouldn't be this hard. What is even more sad is that couples start to wonder if they were meant for each other or if they will ever feel close again.
I have advanced training in a model of relationship counseling called Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples. EFT is considered the gold-star approach to helping couples build healthy, lasting bonds. It is an effective and evidence-based model of counseling that allows couples to find healing and discover meaningful connection with each other again (or for the first time). You can learn more about Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples here.
Although goals and situations are different for each couple, we may work on things such as:
Lack of Communication
Loss of Intimacy
Recovery from Unhealthy Relationships
Stressful Life Transition
Modern relationships are more demanding than ever. As much as we spend time and energy seeking love and trying to find "our person," divorce rates continue to be high and strains on marriage become debilitating and emotionally exhausting. I'm not telling you anything you don't already know! It's common for people who once felt so much love for each other to feel like strangers, roommates or business partners. Both people are hurting and unsure of what steps to take next. You may feel like you've tried everything and nothing seems to be working. Let's take a look at where you and your partner might be missing each other and help you find more accurate language to what is happening in your dynamic.
Marriage is not designed for couples to feel constant stress, strain and disconnect from one another. In fact, it is designed for us to live fully with the safety of knowing we are emotionally connected. Healing is possible, even if there are old wounds that seem to get in the way of you feeling close. Having said that, it is important that both partners have a desire for closeness (even if it doesn't seem possible right now) and a willingness to untangle old patterns and try new things, new ways of communicating with each other.